June 2012
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Well now I just hate everything. Thanks, commercials.
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“This reduces dark marks in your armpit skin!”
Dove NO ONE CARES. Also this commercial came on almost immediately after a commercial about how they’re funding self-esteem camps for teenage girls. Maybe girls have self-esteem issues because you and companies like you try to make them worry about shit like darks marks in their armpits, Dove.
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Dove, stop trying to make me care about how my...
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“below, the photos, in the first sentence, put a comma after “however”
– Comma overusers are the bane of my work existence.
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angstinmypants replied to your post: Dinner was: Fried pickles with ranch (specialty…
dude I was out with a guy the other night and he ordered fried pickles and they were OUT and I thought of you, I was like ALLIE WOULD BE HORRIFIED
That happened to me once and I was so disappointed I thought I might die. I had been looking forward to it ALL DAY and then I was just like
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Dinner was:
Fried pickles with ranch (specialty of the place we went and also my favorite thing of all time)
A really nice malbec
A half rack of lamb with rosemary, medium rare
Garlic mashed potatoes
Several bites of Eric’s NY strip and amazing onion pie thing
Pecan pie with vanilla ice cream and delicious coffee
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My dinner was so good tonight I actually reached over to Eric and just shook his arm while I made zombie noises.
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Snow White and the Huntsman:
1. I’m starting to wonder if Kristen Stewart is capable of closing her mouth. I know a lot of y’all love her, but her tortured breathing + half open mouth + staring into the distance style of acting just is not my thing.
2. I really enjoyed the characterization of the evil Queen and her brother.
3. Okay did anyone else see this
and think
“This shit is a rip off of...
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“I want like, giant ice sculptures. You know, to make it really classy.”
– Dina’s Party, aka my new favorite show
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So excited for tomorrow
Coupley anniversary adventure time all day and then delicious food! Also I just wrapped Eric’s anniversary present, which is Star Wars legos and a pop Marvel Cap doll.
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Adult dinner party!
We made fancy salads, cooked dinner (cider vinegar chicken with leeks and carrots), and baked dessert. Then drank wine and chilled on the patio. Then everyone went home at a reasonable hour. It was a nice change of pace from our usual craziness.
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I squished a whole day's productivity into two...
Spaced out my crowded tomato seedlings
Replanted my hanging herb garden
Swept the kitchen, vacuumed the living room, cleaned and uncluttered all the tables and counters, made two beds, cleaned the sink and toilet, put up the dishes, and generally unfucked the house. Nothing like having people over to shame you into cleaning!
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I don’t know why I ever think I’ll do anything other than dick around on the internet and eat when I stay home from work.
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Y’all need to stop encouraging my drunk ass on the internet
Also I would like y’all to know that there was a question about The Avengers at trivia tonight, and the only reason we got it right was because of tumblr.
(Real names of Avengers members)
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My hairy legs have a lot more to do with my laziness than my feminist leanings.
feelinghellastabby replied to your post: Also, I have been hovering at almost 600 followers…
Teetering on the idea that I should unfollow/refollow you for a free print because I am an opportunist apparently
Well I love you so I would send you a free print anyway! Which one do you want? If I have it in stock Imma send it to you tomorrow.
adireadire asked: As an employed person a whole year older than me, what do you think of experience requirements for entry level jobs? If every minimum wage retail job wants 6 months of experience, how do you get one of those jobs in the first place?
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adireadire replied to your post: Also, I have been hovering at almost 600 followers…
should I unfollow you and then wait for your 599th follower post and boom gimme
Well, possibly. But that will be hard to nail unless you refollow me over and over. If you refollow me enough times I’ll probably give up and be like “adireadire wins!”, because I am impatient.
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Also, I have been hovering at almost 600 followers forever and I will give my 600th new follower a free print. But only if they stick around and listen to my drunken inanities.
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WORK WIN
I convinced the trivia people in Memphis to give away our movie tickets in exchange for free publicity/shout outs. WELL DONE, ME.
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Y'all, there are animals in my roof.
Not in the attic, in the roof. Having squirrel orgies or raccoon raves. They are SO LOUD.
May 2012
In related anniversary news, I am the luckiest...
We’re going to not one, but TWO super fancy delicious restaurants: Folk’s Folly on Saturday, and Restaurant Iris on our actual anniversary on Tuesday. So much good food.
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I accidentally ruined Eric's anniversary surprise
I came home early and he was dragging the pretty green patio umbrella I’ve been wanting out of the backseat of his car.
“Um. This is not an umbrella. For you?”
You may recall he bought the ring he was trying to surprise me with with my own etsy account, so.
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I’m making an old school-looking hippy dippy poster for a friend of a friend’s concert. And watching Sharktopus.
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Intern won't make drink signs for the movie...
Like, I get it if you’re Baptist and don’t want to SERVE alcohol, but making drink signs? Come on.
Jesus made wine. He was down to party. I’m just saying.
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No wait, Don is the worst.
No, still Pete.
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Pete is the worst
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I'm watching Bridezillas and no one can stop me.
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Yeah, this patio set is going to be a game...
I’m basically going to live out here from now on.
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Currently tumblring from my back patio, and it is glorious.
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I have peach, apricot, peach, blueberry, and raspberry beer for Monday. ALL OF THE FRUITS.
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ZooBrew was fun
But lord, I cannot drink beer quickly. I had the equivalent of one large beer and felt like I was going to die. No chugging for me.
I had:
A lambic that tasted exactly like a cherry jolly rancher
Something that tasted like banana runts
Taj Mahal, fresh and nutty
Arrogant Bastard IPA
A bunch of beers I had already had, buuut I like them so I had them again anyway.
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Well I'm going to be on stage demonstrating the...
So don’t come, please.
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Action News 5 is reporting a semi filled with...
“Ice cream bars are scattered all over the road.”
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ipomoeaandthestarstealers replied to your post: Reason being Southern is awesome #4324
GURL I am totally not southern but I say Y’all anyway because it’s AWESOME
Y’all just makes more sense. “You guys” takes longer to say and has too many consonants in it. Y’all can also be made into other, even handier contractions, like “y’all’re” or...
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Reason being Southern is awesome #4324
Y’all is much more fun to say drunk.
Y’ALL.
Y’AAAALLLLL
SERIOUSLY Y’ALL
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We lost at trivia
BUT I WON AT DRUNK
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Baby pro and cons
PRO: Babies are cute.
CON: Poop. Diapers. Getting peed and spit up on. And snotted on.
PRO: They give you joy and fulfillment and warm fuzzy feelings.
CON: Hardly any sleep for months. Possibly years.
PRO: …They’re cute?
CON: Pregnancy gives you nausea, heartburn, and stretchmarks, if you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, you get preeclampsia or gestational diabetes. Or...
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What does it feel like to actually want to have a...
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever want kids. I get about as far as “kids are fun and cute and they like toys and being outside, that’s nice” and then I remember the part about no wine or sushi for 9+ months and losing all my sleep and free time and any desire just goes right out the window.
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I'm pretty proud of my veggie consumption today
I just had salad, roasted corn, and a smedium sweet potato for dinner.
I had pad thai and a cupcake for lunch, but whatever.